i)there are lots of vacant birds nests littering the bare trees here.

ii) when i was seventeen i wanted to go to college in Alaska. i stood in our tiny kitchen with the brown tiles and leafed through thick college books that were hand-me-downs from Hennifer. i daydreamed and read the ratio's of males vs. females, what the average weight gain was, how big the libraries were and where the good pizza was. all of my friends were going to colleges out of state. i would be the only one left behind (so i thought) i read about a college that had a place called the ratskellar. what I enjoyed most was the idea of living in darkness a percentage of the year and being surrounded by snow and boys. right about now though i am missing the sun.

iii)last night i was lying on my stomach with ari squirming next to me. he was instructing me on how to draw a jellyfish The Right Way. he drew an animal for each month of the year because i have been drawing an animal for each day of January. He got to May and said, "guess what animal i drew for May?" I looked and there was a little girl stick figure and he declared, "a mommy!" because i was born in May. My heart is nested away in that little boys messy hair, long eyelashes and frequent kisses. I want to put him in my pocket sometimes and protect him from everything forever.

iv)last night i had a dream that i was married to either Peter Murphy or Peter Gabriel. I'm not sure which it was since i just referred to him as "oh, peter". i know it was one of the two.

(v)last night our neighbor knocked on the door and asked me if i wanted him to buy me some cold medicine because he heard me coughing (which i kindly declined). i noticed he was wearing shorts and told him to stay warm. he told me that he couldn't feel his legs because of schrapnel in Vietnam, so it didn't matter. a billion horror stories flashed before me. i closed the door and told kevin that, "well, he should still wear pants."

(vi)i'm popping ibuprofen like sweet tarts.

all in all 2005 sucked. i bid you good riddance!

here are the highlights however,

+k. surprising me by having my two best friends fly up for my 30th birthday

+meeting new people

+the boys at the record store

+working at the record store

+discovering new music

+having someone jump into the shower with me fully clothed to surprise me with a hug.

+sneaking cigarettes with nicole and amy

+meeting the woman who bought k.'s parents hotel. i don't know why.

+my parents visit

+the word icebox

+getting to know stephanie better

+discovering cinammon donuts

+my great aunties whispering secrets to my mom about me

+talking to my cousin, Wendy

+green tea with lots of sugar and soy milk. just like it's not supposed to be.

+my first train ride

+drinking cherry wine and eating at tortilla flat with Robin

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