my reading went very smoothly. no shaking, nothing. i wasn't scared! i received many compliments on the delivery of the poem. the person who walked me down the aisle said that i did not seem nervous at all. this is an interesting phenomenon to me.
i only started crying slightly when the groom did and during "she's leaving home" by the beatles because it reminds me of my father.
i had forgotten how similar em and i can be. we were dancing and out of nowhere she pulled me close and said, "I have missed you so much!" i love her. we have a chemistry that is difficult to find. her husband gets along quite well with s. i promised to visit her in md. i should stop distancing myself from her.
at one point during the night i found myself being watched by a male. i was guessing that he was gay so it made no difference to me. finally after dancing with him for a few minutes i asked with a sigh, "you aren't gay are you?"
he asked me if that was a problem and i said "no, however i do have a boyfriend"
the gay bars in this town aren't very gay.
with my friends gone i feel a new emptiness that won't easily be filled. i'm slipping. i am feeling less and less like i belong here. why is it when i feel empty, i feel the need to move on.
i am not happy.
jesus christ. i must do something about this cell phone (i'm not sure how i feel about having one yet). it just started ringing really loudly and by the time i figured out how to turn it down it shut off! i didn't recognize the number, hopefully it was for a job. i have applied for many.
*note to self
remember not to fall asleep in gazebos whilst insanely tipsy. it's very rude when someone is looking for you.