everyone is asleep. mischka is at my feet. ari fell asleep during dinner after complaining about a headache. s. was reading and went to bed. i stayed up cleaning. i'm waiting for my chamomile tea to cool off. i think that i might be snapping out of my malaise.

in the stacks of unopened mail i found an envelope from february, addressed to the parent or guardian of ari from his school. inside was the sweetest valentine.

It says Dear Mom

I love you Mom Happy Vaaenlines day Ari

i had no knowledge of this valentines day card until just now.

i want to give him a big kiss and a hug but he is sleeping. he always says, "bye" after i tuck him in and say goodnight. it makes me uneasy. he wants to start reading Harry Potter. i'm not quite sure how much of it he will understand but i will comply. he asked if he could look through my books (erm...not that i own them or anything...)he is continually forgetting to take back his library books.

i'm not as worried about the pills anymore. i think that the dip down was hormonal. this is a relief. i just looked at all of my dr.'s bills from September (that were sitting, also unopened). my god. and i have insurance. i do feel obligated to pay this since they did save my life, but i have no idea when i can.

i have a "student-led" parent teacher conference tomorrow. i have no idea what this entails. s. is going to accompany me if he can leave work.

i should go to bed. i'm tired from working out and i am using my lunch tomorrow to do it again.

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