i accidently showed up for an appointment an hour early today. I had an hour to waste in 92 degrees, humid, humid weather. You can see the humidity. I walked to a nearby chinese restaurant and bought a cheap fried rice/vegetable dish and a diet dr. pepper. As I sat waiting I wrote on the slip of paper I am reading from now. I thought about the last time that I was in this place, it was when Ari had just learned to walk. We had just moved from F/l. Right as I wrote the sentence a commercial for f/l came on. This chinese place used to be a taco bell, and you can tell by it's shape. As a child I spent fourth of July's sitting in front munching on cinnamon twists and drinking pepsi with my cousins. I ate what I could of the fried rice mess. The fried egg pieces in it were making my stomach turn. I walked on to Perennial Designs and bought K. some himalayan incense. It was originally 6.00 i bought it for two. I bought myself some japanese cherry blossom bath powder, for 1.00. I walked across the street to the courthouse. I wasn't wearing my watch and was nervous about missing the appointment that I had arrived an hour early for. I was tempted to go in and breathe in the museum-musky smell that i love. I felt my grandfathers presence beckoning me in to look at the old coins hanging on the walls, like he did when i was a sunburnt 11 year old.

The preoccupation with death is still with me. I started reading a book that begins with a creamation and almost decided not to read it for that reason. But I am. This is going somewhere, awakening something.

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