I've become incredibly morbid, unhappy and weird. Received one shot in the hip a needle in the arm, more antibiotics and cough syrup. I am tired of this. i am still covered in red spots. Saturday i tried crying out parts that won't go. stains that won't budge.

i don't know what's going on.

i am trying to be positive. I haven't seen ari in over a week. i'm sure that is making me moody.

s. read slyvia plath in a falsetto voice to me while i soaked in a hot oatmeal bath.

Saturday we went to a thrift store where i found a bright red suitcase, a battleship game and some childrens books.

we also went to the laundromat. unhappiness ensued. i don't know what to do with moments tied up in disappointment on both ends, this saturday i just let it fall apart. i read a magazine and tried to keep a cricket from being smashed that was hopping around in the laundromat. It didn't appreciate my efforts.

later we watched Monsoon Wedding, which I loved.

I think it's important right now for me not to be labeled by what's wrong/not right with me. It makes me feel trapped.

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